Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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