now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
