So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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