the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
