epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
