The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
