When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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