I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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