Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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