How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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