THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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