Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
