let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Drake has all the answers
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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