Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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