my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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