yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
