Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
