You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
