Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It's official drugs can't kill me
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
