dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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