Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
