Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
