well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
