On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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