theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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