You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
