Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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