What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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