I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
