i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
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