so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
