she woke up with a sticky ear
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
