So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
