So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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