Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I see more hoeing in ur future
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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