I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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