if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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