he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
