Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Fuck me I smell like cheese
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
