hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
