Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
