If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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