and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
