party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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