I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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