Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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