I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
