Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
