he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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