TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
