Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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