tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
